cheekbones3: (Default)
cheekbones3 ([personal profile] cheekbones3) wrote2003-10-10 04:23 pm

I rarely think jokes are good enough, but here we go!


> A woman brought a very limp duck into a veterinary surgery. As she lay her
> > pet on the table, the vet pulled out his stethoscope and listened to the
> > bird's chest. After a moment or two, the vet shook his head sadly and
> > said, "I'm so sorry, Cuddles has passed away."
> >
> > The distressed owner wailed, "Are you sure?"
> >
> > "Yes, I am sure. The duck is dead", he replied.
> >
> > "How can you be so sure," she protested. "I mean, you haven't done any
> > testing on him or anything. He might just be in a coma or something."
> >
> > The vet rolled his eyes, turned around and left the room, and returned a
> > few moments later with a black Labrador Retriever. The duck's owner
> looked
> > on in amazement as the dog stood on his hind legs, put his front paws on
> > the examination table and sniffed the duck from top to bottom. He then
> > looked at the vet with sad eyes and shook his head. The vet patted the
> dog
> > and took it out, and returned a few moments later with a beautiful cat.
> > The cat jumped up on the table and also sniffed delicately at the bird.
> > The cat sat back on its haunches, shook its head, meowed softly and
> > strolled out of the room.
> >
> > The vet looked at the woman and said, "I'm sorry, but as I said, this is
> > most definitely, 100% certifiably, a dead duck."
> >
> > Then the vet turned to his computer terminal, hit a few keys and
> produced
> > a bill which he handed to the woman.
> >
> > The duck's owner, still in shock, took the bill. "£150!" she cried,
> "£150
> > just to tell me my duck is dead?!!"
> >
> > The vet shrugged. "I'm sorry. If you'd have taken my word for it, the
> bill
> > would have been £20, but what with the Lab Report and the Cat Scan.....

[identity profile] stormy-brow.livejournal.com 2003-10-10 08:45 am (UTC)(link)
Ditto.

[identity profile] squeeky-jane.livejournal.com 2003-10-10 08:52 am (UTC)(link)
hahaha...me like that one!
Squeeks xx

[identity profile] love337.livejournal.com 2003-10-10 10:50 am (UTC)(link)
oh the agony..

[identity profile] moohoofer.livejournal.com 2003-10-10 11:08 am (UTC)(link)
Oh dear!!! Ok, I admit it - I MAY have laughed :)

[identity profile] red-phil.livejournal.com 2003-10-10 05:48 pm (UTC)(link)
I didn't.
Honest.
not even a small smirk.
well .......

[identity profile] moohoofer.livejournal.com 2003-10-11 08:58 am (UTC)(link)
maybe just a "teensey" one ?

[identity profile] cheekbones3.livejournal.com 2003-10-11 03:37 am (UTC)(link)
Ha ha!

[identity profile] yummychummy.livejournal.com 2003-10-10 07:31 pm (UTC)(link)
ok, so, i'm a blonde thing from the u.s.

hello. fine evening.

my question is:
well i'm not sure what my question is.
i'm just fascinated with people who aren't......

american.

enough said. drop me a line.

-emily

[identity profile] cheekbones3.livejournal.com 2003-10-11 03:46 am (UTC)(link)
Well I'm very much not american, and very good at it too! Do you get bored of your own countrymen?

this is the house that funk built.

[identity profile] yummychummy.livejournal.com 2003-10-11 06:38 am (UTC)(link)
well, apologies. that comment most likely made me sound pretty un-patriotic. i am quite the opposite, yet "knowing" people from all cultures is something i love being a part of.

it makes me feel.. uh, well, multi-cultural. and hey, i'm not doing any harm. my namee is emily. your name is ian. hi ian. i'm emily. email me.

theworm209@hotmail.com

hee hee

[identity profile] sauceyrider.livejournal.com 2003-10-11 12:21 pm (UTC)(link)
hee hee laugh i nearly farted!! nice one matey
hey thanks for the access code ian you are a star *

Re: hee hee

[identity profile] cheekbones3.livejournal.com 2003-10-12 05:06 am (UTC)(link)
No probs :O)