Sometimes I jest...

1. What bill do you hate paying the most?
I'm resigned to them really.

2. Where was the last place you had a romantic dinner?
Erm, the 20th century? I'm sure I must have had one at some point since. Erm...

3. Last time you puked from drinking?
Maybe around 2003 as far as I can remember.

4. When is the last time you got drunk and danced on a bar?
Never danced on one, although I stood on the Holyrood bar on occasion.

5. Name of your class one teacher?
Miss Boothroyd.

6. What do you really want to be doing right now?
I'm pretty happy in what I'm currently doing.

7. What did you want to be when you were growing up?
Weatherman.

8. How many colleges did you attend?
None. Two if universities count.

9. Why did you choose the shirt that you have on right now?
Because it was clean, near the top of the pile and is doesn't have an offensive picture on it.

10. Petrol prices?
What about them?

11. If you could move anywhere and take someone with you?
Within earshot of the sea, in the country, still near Edinburgh.

12. First thought when the alarm went off this morning?
Well the radio came on, and I thought of getting up, and I listened to the news.

13. Last thought before going to sleep last night?
If I knew that, I wouldn't have fallen asleep.

14. Favourite style of underwear?
Black boxer brief whatsits.

15. Favourite style of underwear for the opposite sex?
Ones that suit.

16. What errand/chore do you despise?
Dried-on washing up.

17. If you didn’t have to work, would you volunteer?
To play poker all day? Yes.

18. Get up early or sleep in?
Up early.

19. What is your favourite cartoon character?
Oh maybe Jessica Rabbit. Or seriously, Captain Caveman mainly.

20. Favourite NON sexual thing to do at night with a girl/guy?
At once? Board games while boozing I suspect. Alone? Similar stuff I suppose.

21. Have you found real love yet?
I'll tell you on my deathbed :o)

22. When did you first start feeling old?
Probably when I was about eight. Maybe three or something. Gawd knows really.

23. Favourite 80’s movie?
Flash Gordon.

24. Your favourite lunch meat?
Turkey and stuffing in bread probably, or maybe just ham.

25. What do you get every time you go into Sam’s Club? Or Walmart?
A lap dance? Vague grumpiness about a former Yorkshire company now being used as a vehicle for strange americans?

26. Beach or lake?
Beach.

27. Do you think marriage is an outdated ritual?
No.

28. How many people do you stalk on Facebook?
No-one right now, but I have a few friends.

29. Favourite guilty pleasure?
Masturbating while sitting on cars in the street. Or while watching Miss Hoolie in Balamory.

30. Favourite movie you wouldn’t want anyone to find out about?
While You Were Sleeping

31. What’s your drink?
Tea.

32. Cowboys or Indians?
Indians.

33. Cops or Robbers?
Cops. I like catching people.

34. Who from high school would you like to run into?
Anyone I've not seen for a while.

35. What radio station is your car radio tuned to right now?
I don't have a car, but my various radios sit on Radios 2, 4, 5 and Planet Rock at the moment.

36. I'm sorry, were you looking for question 36? There is no question 36. THERE NEVER WAS. Cock.

37. The Cosby Show or the Simpsons
Simpsons.

38. Worst relationship mistake that you wish you could take back?
Not talking more to Cecilia.

39. Do you like the person who sits directly across from you at work?
Aye she's nice.

40. If you could get away with it, who would you kill?
Probably no-one.

41. What famous person(s) would you like to have dinner with?
Oh make this into another meme, I can't be arsed right now.

42. What famous person would you like to sleep with?
Drew Barrymore, Maggie Gyllenhaal, that'll do for now.

43. Have you ever had to use a fire extinguisher for its intended purpose?
What, spraying accidentally when thoughtlessly playing with one? Aye.

44. Last book you read for real?
Moving Pictures, Terry Pratchett. How do you read a book otherwise?

45. Do you have a teddy bear?
Loads, the only ones out are all on my desk at work. Six of them. Professional I am.

46. Strangest place you have ever brushed your teeth?
Can't think of anywhere really.

47. Somewhere in California you’ve never been and would like to go?
Yellowstone Park.

48. Do you go to church?
Do I lick dogs' bums?

49. At this point in your life would you rather start a new career or a new relationship?
New career! Preferably pointing at maps

50. Just how OLD are you?
32.02ish.