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cheekbones3Started the year temping at my current place of work, with no real plans for the future, bought this computer, and got settled in to this flat. was going steady with Cecilia, and had lots of nice quiet nights in, and spent many hours talking nonsense instead of sleeping*sigh*
Got offered a full-time position at work, accepted, became very very stressed(!), so turned it down again and felt better. Decided it was a shit job, and decided to go back to uni. Saving desperately from then on...
Had an amazingly lovely weekend away in Dunkeld with Cecilia, did a lot of walking around the local hills, up the Tay valley and round and about, had beautiful evenings too*sigh* Stop me if I get too soppy...
Spring arrived, applied for my uni course, and started going to practises for Beltane stewards, took Cecilia too. Met lots of wonderful people, had great fun in the lead to and during the event. Unfortunately we all seem to have drifted apart...
June arrived, and my doubts about being with Cecilia came to a head after a great weekend at Donington (System of a Down and Tool were amazing, Slayer played a crap set, but were still head and shoulders above everyone else), and I finished it the week afterwards. Spent the following weeks feeling really badly about it, and we ended up going out to see Tony Benn together which was excellent, decided to give things a go again, and then I ran away again almost immediately. All I wanted to do was not worry about the relationship, but it was most of what I was doing-I can't understand it-am I looking to be impossibly happy, or do people always have all the nagging doubts behind the happiness? I suppose I'll never know unless I do end up loving someone without all the crap underneath. At least I think I've partially dealt with some of the causes, and am continuing to do so...
Into the Autumn, and uni started, people seem okay but not very sociable, course is okay but dull, but at least I'm not in the office every day!
Met a couple of old friends at Christmas from many years back, found that many others are married and preggers, and had a good night with schoolmates.
Otherwise, had a basically fun year, played a lot of cards, met a lot of nice and interesting people, learnt Reiki I recently, and realised that my emotional badnesses are nothing compared to what most people seem to put up with. My life is easy! Just not fun enough!
2003 should be a good (better) year for lots of people!
Got offered a full-time position at work, accepted, became very very stressed(!), so turned it down again and felt better. Decided it was a shit job, and decided to go back to uni. Saving desperately from then on...
Had an amazingly lovely weekend away in Dunkeld with Cecilia, did a lot of walking around the local hills, up the Tay valley and round and about, had beautiful evenings too*sigh* Stop me if I get too soppy...
Spring arrived, applied for my uni course, and started going to practises for Beltane stewards, took Cecilia too. Met lots of wonderful people, had great fun in the lead to and during the event. Unfortunately we all seem to have drifted apart...
June arrived, and my doubts about being with Cecilia came to a head after a great weekend at Donington (System of a Down and Tool were amazing, Slayer played a crap set, but were still head and shoulders above everyone else), and I finished it the week afterwards. Spent the following weeks feeling really badly about it, and we ended up going out to see Tony Benn together which was excellent, decided to give things a go again, and then I ran away again almost immediately. All I wanted to do was not worry about the relationship, but it was most of what I was doing-I can't understand it-am I looking to be impossibly happy, or do people always have all the nagging doubts behind the happiness? I suppose I'll never know unless I do end up loving someone without all the crap underneath. At least I think I've partially dealt with some of the causes, and am continuing to do so...
Into the Autumn, and uni started, people seem okay but not very sociable, course is okay but dull, but at least I'm not in the office every day!
Met a couple of old friends at Christmas from many years back, found that many others are married and preggers, and had a good night with schoolmates.
Otherwise, had a basically fun year, played a lot of cards, met a lot of nice and interesting people, learnt Reiki I recently, and realised that my emotional badnesses are nothing compared to what most people seem to put up with. My life is easy! Just not fun enough!
2003 should be a good (better) year for lots of people!
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no subject
Date: 2003-01-03 10:35 am (UTC)Well, I'm probably not going to be much help here.
Yes, everyone has doubts once they get past the blind, head-over-heels falling in love stage of a relationship. The point is that a relationship consists of two separate people who are trying to become a single unit, so there are bound to be conflicts and confusions.
What you have to figure out is whether the doubts are sufficient to break up the relationship, and that's a question only you can answer, really.
I think the key is levels of dependency within the relationship. If both partners want about the same mix of time being together and time being apart then in the long term things will work out. If there is an imbalance then one partner will want more than the other is able to give, which causes stress to both - one feels neglected and insecure, the other feels claustrophobic.
Some couples work fine spending almost all their time apart, some couples appear to be joined at the hip, most are somewhere in the middle - as far as I can see it doesn't matter where you are on the scale, so long as your partner is at about the same level.
Re:
Date: 2003-01-03 06:17 pm (UTC)2003
Date: 2003-01-04 10:11 pm (UTC)Good luck for 2003, hope that you continue with your psychic development and get on well with Uni.. it sounds like your back on the right path again now, your posts are much more settled, even tho you seem to get bored!LOL
Hope 2003 brings more new friends, lots of fun and loads more learning!
huggss
Jassie xx
Re: 2003
Date: 2003-01-05 04:31 am (UTC)