Courtesy of faerycake

[cheekbones3]

* POWER METAL: The knight arrives riding a white unicorn, escapes from the
dragon, saves the princess and fucks her in an enchanted forest.

* THRASH METAL: The knight arrives, fights against the dragon, saves the
princess and fucks her.

* HEAVY METAL: The knight arrives on a Harley, kills the dragon, drinks a
few pints of beer and fucks the princess.

* FOLK METAL: The knight arrives with friends who are playing accordion,
violin, flute and many other weird instruments, the dragon falls asleep
(because of the dancing). Finally, all go off... without the princess.

* GLAM METAL: The knight arrives; the dragon laughs at the guy's looks and
lets him in. He steals the princess' make up and tries to paint the castle
in a beautiful pink color.

* VIKING METAL: The knight arrives by boat, kills the dragon with his huge
axe, cuts it up and eats it, rapes the princess to death, steals her
belongings and burns down the castle before going off.

* DEATH METAL: The knight arrives, kills the dragon, fucks the princess and
kills her, then leaves.

* BLACK METAL: The knight arrives at midnight, kills the dragon and impales
it in front of the castle. Then he sodomizes the princess, drinks her blood
during a ritual before killing her. Then he impales the princess next to the
dragon.

* GORE METAL: The knight arrives, kills the dragon and scatters its
entrails in front of the castle, fucks the princess and kills her. Then he
fucks the corpse again, opens her belly and eats her entrails. Then he fucks
the carcass for the third time, burns the body and fucks it one last time.

* DOOM METAL: The knight arrives, sees the dragon's size and thinks he
would never defeat it, and then he gets depressed and takes his own life.
The dragon eats his body and the princess as a dessert. End of the dreadful
story.

* PROGRESSIVE METAL: The knight arrives with a guitar and plays a 26
minutes solo. The dragon dies of boredom. The knight arrives in the
princess' room, plays a new solo with all the techniques and airs he's
learnt during his last year of music academy. The princess escapes and sets
off to find the "HEAVY METAL" knight.

* NU METAL: The knight arrives in his washed Honda Civic and tries to face
the dragon but dies burnt as his stupid full trousers catch fire.

Comments

[stealthdj.livejournal.com]

An addition:

Emo: Knight arrives on a skateboard, but his trousers are hanging so low they get wrapped round the wheels and he falls off. Dragon kicks his ass, princess leaves in disgust. Knight spends the rest of his life crying about it.

[cheekbones3.livejournal.com]

:O)

Couldn't mention that bunch in the same section as metal though!