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Rumour has it that ASBOs are to be replaced by the SuBo. Gangs of feral youths, on failing to disperse, will be targeted by the middle-aged songstress, although it's not clear whether she will actually sing at the yobs, or will just grin at them while standing nearby.

A local ned, who would only give his name as "Syco", was quoted as saying "Arrgh, fucken eyebrows, ah'm awa frae here".

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