(no subject)

[cheekbones3]

I think 90% of my time has been occupied by one person since Thursday night, and by god I need out of here tonight! And most of the time, it was because it was easier than going alone and getting shit for it later. I really need a full day away! Can anyone entertain me this evening?

Comments

[cheekbones3.livejournal.com]

Aye - but I'd lose another evening on my own I suppose, with meet-ups gone!

[lilitufire.livejournal.com]

Yeah,

I can see that.

It's a tricky one, to provide enough support to give her the confidence to stand on her own, without effectively stopping her from dealing because you're still there in the same way (in certain ways) as when you were going out and she's still in the same comfort zone, IYSWIM?

You do need to make sure you get sufficient space - and her being upset you're spending time elsewhere isn't necessarily a reason not to. Support her in building a new life, yes, but you have to live yours as well.

I know when I was trying to cope with learning to be alone, what *I* wanted was support and encouragement as a friend from my ex as I tried new things, tried dating, worked out how to *do* this - and boy, was I rusty, since I hadn't been single for almost 11 years! I didn't get that, unfortunately, but that's what I wanted. What I didn't want was him to spend lots of time with me, that would have been counterproductive. I just wanted to be able to pick up the phone, say "Meep! I'm scared", and have him listen.

I don't know if that's how she feels, I just know that was what *I* would have found helpful. I do think you're in a particularly difficult situation because you're still living together, and it's so much harder to get that distance.

Meh *hugs* - it's a tricky one. From both sides, I suspect. Perhaps the only way you guys will actually get separate lives is if one of you takes the initiative to live apart?

[cheekbones3.livejournal.com]

Yes I think you're right. The only way I'll move at the moment is if I get work elsewhere. I think she's too pessimistic to move.

I'll just keep trying to get her to do things...